journals

If your husband has a journal that he kept for something like 5 years and you've been meaning to print it out to keep special and safe and then you find out he's deleted it would you be upset? Cause he sure isn't, he thinks he's justified in doing so to because "what he does with his own private thoughts is his business". I'm incredibly upset. You do not ever, ever, ever delete journals. Ever. You keep them, you keep them safe, you do not destroy that much of your life! He's basically erased a portion of his life. I don't care that he doesn't want anyone to read it, he can print it and then delete the part that's on the computer. But save a copy for yourself first! How could he have done this to me without even warning me first? In years to come he's going to severely regret this. My stomach's all twisted and I feel sick. I mean, he's done things before that haven't made me happy but nothing this drastic. Nothing this horrible. Nothing this sickeningly awful. The weight of this wrongdoing presses down on me and I feel like someone's died. In a way, he has died. Yes, he might remember some vague things that happened, bigger things like birthdays or Christmas, but he'll never ever get back his thoughts. His memories. Of each and every individual day. Little things, like what he wore or what he ate, are gone forever. Your journal is your heart and soul, it's the way you live every day, it's what you thought, what you wrote, how you wrote it. I have journals dating back from when I was 8 at least. If something ever happened to them I might as well be dead because they are my life. They are literally my life.

In other depressing news that stove we got can't fit a pizza pan (I have two and it won't even fit the smaller one). It can't fit decent sized cookie sheets, just my tinsy little one. I feel like I basically wasted my money and almost want to see how hard it is to return it. *edit* My mom says she has smaller pans I can use in it.

In good news, the backroom walk went great and I got the best score in the store, a perfect 100%. Zhaun even said good job. Yay me. I was ecstatic at the time.

It was Harold walking again. Or Howard. Whichever. I think it's Harold. He and Zhaun got into a little argument about how to fill out one of my milk boards. My deliriously demented mind envisioned Harold slapping Zhaun and Zhaun grabbing his cheek and acting all surprised and then slapping him back, which would start a slap fight as they rolled around on the floor of my cooler. It was so amusing I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. Harold was doing a lot of the *peer over glasses disapprovingly* thing again. hehe

A lot of the snow from the other day has melted. Bonnie had no trouble getting in that I knew of. She was unhappy because she got in trouble in the walk for the vendor's not being clean under their backstock pallets. Even though it is impossible to clean under them. There's boards nailed across them in two pallet sections. So you can't get a vacuum under them. You'd have to stand the pallets up on end which would mean taking everything off the pallets. People like Frito, Keebler, and Nabisco keep their backstock piled so high they need a ladder to get to the top. People like the soda and beer guys have all that weight to move and some of it is on the line between pallets. And there's just not enough room or time for them to do that. So they'd have to rip the boards off the front and get the vacuum under there. Which to get all of it means laying on the floor and shoving your arm under as far as you can. This cleaning has to be done before the next time Harold comes in, but I have no idea how it will happen.

Bonnie's going on vacation next week. And at first I was happy because I thought that meant I'd get Saturday and Sunday off, a two day weekend right before Valentine's Day. And now I realize that what will probably actually happen is me and Dustin will both work 48 hours next week and Wednesday will be my only day off. The thought makes me feel suffocated.